I think this is all too much now. I feel like my mind is fucked up. I went from a night in a wonderful hotel with a guy I don't really like to taking it too far with a guy that wants to take things a lot more seriously than I do. Wasn't this supposed to be my backup plan? No, actually I think what I mean is this was supposed to be something temporary to boost my ego, now these two men are a little too involved in my life for my liking. I must seem pathetic not being able to say NO ! Leave me alone, don't call me. I want to get rid of "S". Pronto. Because right now I have shared too much of my feelings with "R" to the point where he can see a future for us. He is taking me away this weekend!!! And here I am willingly going because it's going to be a free trip to this new place and I am going to have to play at being in love. I don't love you "R". I like you a lot. I love someone else although I am afraid they may not love me. That's why I am leaning on you for support. I'm sorry.