OK maybe I am reaching obsession mode because I know that he is out there somewhere having the time of his life with some idiot girls or probably with family but as usual his New Years will be a blast and mine will be dismal. He already has an extravagant lifestyle on a regular basis but why am I selling myself short? He is being sparse and vague and quite frankly uncaring with his texts I shouldn't bother sending him a merry christmas text at that. Fuck you, why is this getting to me? Ugh. Let me make use of boxing day sales and hope some retail therapy will cheer me up and I can always ask for money in the New Year because the least I can do for myself is take care of my own feelings. But it's hard knowing he is indifferent to being with one woman, so knowing that he is with someone justifies me filling that void with money. It's time to get tough!