Dear ... God, I hope you can hear me

Today I got on my knees and prayed. Can't remember when the last time was. I prayed because for the first time in a long time I was scared about life. I usually pray during turbulence on a plane, because I HATE flying. But this time I was praying to be prepared in case if something bad happens. You see I am going through "heartache" so to speak. Remember the guy I am seeing and quite in love with but two days ago that photo of another woman on his phone made me sick inside? Well I am praying to get that image out of my mind and move on. I am praying to find a steady job because I think what if he is slowly leaving me for someone else and I'll have no one to help me. I know it sounds silly to pray about the guy who provides you with financial support, but it is also emotional. I am in love with him, or at least the idea of being in love with him is quite strong. I don't have a back-up plan, so really that is what I am praying for. A backup plan. Because in case someone knocks over my pedestal, I need to have a safety harness on.